In the world of music, Chas and Dave, the much-loved cockney duo, decide to buy Manchester United from the highly unpopular Glazer family.
The billion pound bid is financed from royalties the two artists have stashed away at the bottom of their gardens.
The Glazer boys take the money and run, leaving the most popular football club in the world in the hands of two fading singers, whose best years are behind them.
Chas and Dave waste no time in making radical changes at Old Trafford, which include making Rolf Harris - the disgraced TV celebrity - manager of the under sixteen side. When questioned about their decision, the new owners reply that "Harris has got a beard, just like us, so he's got to be the right man for the job."
The town of Swindon, in Wiltshire, is officially declared the worst place to live in Britain. Bradford finishes second in the list of the shittiest shite-holes, with Great Yarmouth finishing third.
With its awful housing estates, rowdy nightclubs and stinking town centre, Swindon appears to be in need of a major make-over.
Enter Francois Hollande - the former French president, with time on his hands.
In a bold move, he presents himself as the "French One" at the general election, claiming that with his flare, wit and charm, he can bring the glory days back to Swindon.
Voted in with a massive majority, Hollande wastes no time in transforming what is essentially a cesspit of a town into England's answer to San Tropez.
"The Boy Done Well!" boasts the tabloid press, when Swindon is named as one of the most seven beautiful places on the planet.
"Ooh la la!" declares Hollande, basking in the glory of the hour, before declaring that Hastings is the next town which will benefit from a thorough overhaul.
Watch this space for more predictions, holiday destinations for the mentally insane and ideas on how to make this autumn really special.